Eternal Wish
by Fylleth
Summary: [Tsubasa RESERVoir CHRONiCLE] There are gaps in her memories, and she wonders why. CHAPTER 6 UP!
1. Archaelogist

**Eternal Wish by Himitsu**

**Chapter 1**

**Archaeologist**

This fanfic is one of the first Tsubasa RESERVoir CHRoNiCLe fanfics on ff.net. I hope you'll like it. This story is in Sakura's point of view. I promise I'll reply to your reviews! Before I forget to tell you, you can call me Himitsu or Fylleth! :P

-- Himitsu

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"Syaoran …" I stared at the high ceiling of my chamber, feeling so imprisoned. Touya would rarely ever let me go out. I know he would decline even if I begged him on hands and knees. There were times I couldn't take it anymore and crept outside without permission. The last time I did that was around two months ago.

"I miss you," I muttered to myself. I had grown used to talking to myself when I was alone, especially in this room. I had no one else to talk to. When I was a little girl I would always talk to Syaoran. "I miss you … so much …"

I haven't seen him for a long time. For the past weeks, I remained in the castle. I know Syaoran would be too tired to see me. I know how hard he worked, from early in the morning until close to sunset. His assistants delivered reports to the King, Touya, nearly everyday. Each time I hear the doors of the castle open, I would rush down to see who it was. But it was never him.

I could hear Touya and Yukito-san talking to the excavation assistants indistinctly. They were delivering a report to Touya.

I put on my cloak and slipped out of my room. I managed to sneak outside without getting noticed. Hopefully, I could return without being seen too. I know Touya would be mad at me for going out and not telling him, but it was worth the risk.

As I ran through the city, people waved at me and I waved back. It was a while since I had last walked here. Everybody was so friendly, I regretted not being able to come here more frequently. Syaoran lived in such an open atmosphere; all his neighbours were kind.

A familiar sensation of joy rushed through me as I approached Syaoran's house. It was still the same as ever, without anything particular to make it stand out from the other houses. But I still know which one it was.

I clenched my fists, unable to hold the longing in me to any further extent and knocked the door. Within a few seconds the door swung open slowly.

"Yes?" came the familiar voice I've known nearly all my life.

"Syaoran!" I gave him a big hug and both of us fell to the floor. 

"Welcome back!" I greeted him happily. "How are the excavations of the ruins going? How's your injury? Has your fever gone yet? Have you eaten yet?" I asked, peering at him closely.

"Uh, yes," Syaoran replied, still perplexed. "Everything has been fine."

"You're speaking so politely!" I moved even closer to him.

"But … Hime-sama …"

"You _used _to call me Sakura!" I pouted, pretending to be offended. I was slightly upset. He always called me Sakura all the time. 

"Yes," he said. "Er, no, I mean, yeah_._"

"Sakura," I said, as though I was teaching him how to pronounce my name properly.

"Sa … Sakura," Syaoran said finally.

I let out a little chuckle and realised I was still on him. "Ah! I'm sorry, I must be heavy!" I apologised quickly and got off him. There was silence for a moment.

"But really, welcome home, Syaoran," I said. 

"Yep, I'm home," Syaoran answered.

At least he had dropped his politeness. For a while.

"Your highne …" Syaoran paused. "You knew pretty quickly. That I'm back, that is."

"Today some people came to the castle to deliver a report about the excavation," I explained.

"Is it all right for you to be here then?" Syaoran questioned. 

"Yeah, listening to all those kind of reports is my brother's job," I said. "But since those people came to deliver those report," – I beamed mischievously "– I thought I'd come here to visit you!"

"What!?" Syaoran exclaimed, sweat dropping. "No way … You mean you came here all by yourself?"

"Yup!"

Syaoran shook his head disapprovingly.

"As usual, my brother wasn't exactly thrilled about me coming to your house, Syaoran," I said. "But still, we've been friends for ever and ever, even since we were kids. Right?"

I picked up the picture of Syaoran and his father, Fujitaka smiling back at the two people in the picture. It brought back a lot of memories. "It has been seven years, isn't it?" I said, calculating the years in an instance. "Since you and your father came to this country."

I remembered it clearly. Both of us were just little kids, seven years ago.

"You and your father came hear from a foreign because he had interest in the ruins here … because he was an archaeologist. He thought that probably the desert had ruins buried underneath. If he could carry out the excavations he had first to understand the country's history, and he had to convince the King.

"He accompanied all these important people to the site to promote the excavation … It seemed like the preparations would continue forever. But the proposal was finally accepted, and the excavations began," I finished.

"I lost him while excavating those ruins …" said Syaoran, smiling sadly. "What I thought was my 'happy life' had ended, when he laughed for the last time."

I couldn't stand it when Syaoran was sad. It seemed to affect me too, making me feel his grief. "When you lost your father I said you could come and live with me!"

"Yeah, but living in a castle would be really weird, you know."

"It is _not _weird!" I retorted. "We're childhood friends!"

"Someone who isn't royalty cannot live in a castle," said Syaoran simply. "Besides, I'm an assistant in this excavation, it's fine for me to live here."

"But …" I mumbled, looking down to the floor. "Because of your world we haven't been able to see each other these days. It's lonely." I recalled being alone in my chamber feeling like caged bird, wishing I could fly away. "Aren't you lonely to Syaoran?"

"Yeah … I'm lonely," Syaoran admitted glumly. "But this excavation is my dad's …"

"It's ok, I know. It's an important dream for you, isn't it?" I said quickly. "I understand … but I still want to see you more. Back at the castle, in my room at night, I'm always thinking of you. 'What is Syaoran doing now?' 'I wonder if he's thinking of me a little too?' "

"I'm thinking of you," said Syaoran, smiling. "Why do you wonder about it? Or course I'm thinking of you."

I blushed. "Uh … I …" I had wanted to tell him for years, that I ... Now I couldn't even look in his eyes. I tried not to blush any further. "Um, Syaoran … there's something … I want to … say."

"What is it?" Syaoran said.

"Um … well, um …" I looked up to his face. My heart was racing fast. Should I just change the subject and forget this? "I … Syaoran, I …"

I was on the verge of saying it when the castle bell rang deafeningly. 

**DONG!**

Both of us fell over again, in alarm. I was totally speechless. I never had the courage to say it, but now …

"It's the castle bell," said Syaoran, gazing out of the window. "It's sunset already."

I clutched my chest, breathing heavily. "Ah … I was just a little surprised," I assured him. "My brother was trying to interfere by ringing that bell …" I muttered quietly, wiping my sweaty forehead. 

"Eh? Interfere?" asked Syaoran curiously.

I shook my head at once. "When the bell rings, I have to return to the castle," I said.

"Well, you're late."

"Yeah, um, you must be tired from working. I'll go back by myself. There's no problem, this country is full of wonderful people," I added as an afterthought.

"Well, that's true. I've been to many countries with my father; this country is very peaceful," said Syaoran.

"Um, well, about the thing I was going to tell you … I'll tell you the next time we meet, ok?" I said, reddening.

"Ah, ok."

"I'm going to say it for sure!" I said. "So wait for it, ok?" I strode away before he could reply.

"My, konnichi wa, Hime-sama!" greeted a woman.

"Konnichi wa!" I called back.

"Hey, it's the princess!"

"Your face looks a little flushed," said the woman as I came near her stall.

"Ahh, it's nothing!" I couldn't believe I was still blushing. 

"Would you like an apple, Hime-sama?" she offered me a pale golden-yellow fruit.

"Arigatou! It looks delicious!" I thanked the woman and headed for the castle.

On my way to the castle, the sky shone with yellow and orange streaks. I paused to watch the sunset, chewing on the apple I received. The sun was a red semicircle, barely visible as it was sinking over the horizon of sand dunes. I paused to watch the sunset, thinking of what might happen tomorrow.

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Ok, so how's that? Reviews please? If you review I will definitely write more! :) I'll try not to expect that many reviews though. n_n


	2. Veiled

**Eternal Wish by Himitsu**

**Chapter 2**

**Veiled**

Arigatou for reading this fanfic. Welcome to the second chapter where Sakura loses her memories. Oh dear, I forgot the disclaimer! CLAMP owns Tsubasa, not me. Should I give Sakura a Kudan? Like someone she can talk to while she's asleep. Here are the replies to my reviewers … Arigatou! ^_^

**Sunel:** Arigatou! I really wanted someone to comment on the way I described Sakura's emotions. Arigatou gozaimasu! You're my first reviewer! XD

**It-chan: **There are many other fanfics, like this, It-chan. ;p Oh yeah I've already flamed you back! (SEE everyone! She's _supposed _to be my best friend but she's mean and she doesn't support me and she takes this as a compliment.) 

-- Himitsu

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I ran the rest of the way back, tiptoeing carefully not to attract attention. It was dark by the time I arrived. I didn't realise how long I was out. 

"SA – KU – RA. I can see you," said somebody loudly.

I glanced in the direction of the voice – it was Touya. "Tadaima - Nii-sama!" I said guiltily, hiding the golden apple behind my back. He was glaring at me heatedly.

"I suppose you were at that kid's place again," he said sulkily.

"He's not 'that kid'!" I shouted angrily. "He's Syaoran!" Touya had been calling him by that name for ages. He'd either call him 'that kid' or 'that brat'. I suppose I should be calling _him _'that bully'.

" 'That kid' is a fine name for a brat like that," Touya scoffed.

"He's not a brat! He's living alone, he's working hard at his job, he's GREAT!" I nearly shrieked, dropping all my gentle and courteous princess's qualities, glaring at Touya. 

"_Yeah,_ a GREAT BRAT! A BRAT!" Touya glared at me.

"Is doing this helping anything? Ou-sama? Hime-sama?" chuckled Yukito, the Priest and the King's assistant. I had also known him for years. He was also Touya's best friend.

"Yukito-san! Have you finished all your work?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied with his usual warm smile. "The excavation went very well so, the King and his companions were waiting here."

"My brother was as big-headed as ever, I suppose?" I quipped.

"I think that's _you _actually," leered Touya.

"NANDE!?"

"Ah, he listened to it intently," said Yukito as I sent a frown to Touya. He looked the other way and merely ignored me.

"So, the excavations are still continuing?" I asked Yukito, trying to take no notice of Touya.

"It looks that way, yes."

"So they're nearly finished right?" I asked hopefully. If the ruins were almost over and done with, perhaps Syaoran would have more time off his work and we could be just as close as we were all those years ago.

"Nope," said Touya, gazing at the ruins. "It looks like there's more to these ruins than what's showing on the surface."

"Eh!?" I exclaimed.

"There seems to be a path continuing underground," said Yukito.

"The excavation still has a long way to go before it's finished," smirked Touya, cruelly. "That brat will still, still, still, _still _be very busy too … won't he?"

I squeezed the apple furiously, growling. If it were a little kumquat it would be juice and pulp by now. "I … I understand! Syaoran and his father are the same, they love the ruins, they both love history! I know that he'll be really happy if there are new ruins. It's a good thing!"

I ran to my room, slamming the door in rage. "Nii-sama! All he does is just make fun of me!" I threw myself on the bed, back to staring at the decorated ceilings. He was always this cruel and unkind. Maybe all big brothers are like that. I sighed.

I rose almost at once, opening the glass doors leading to my balcony. I had a grand view of the ruins. The moonless dark sky was glamorously adorned with millions of glittering stars, its astral beams illuminating the night with a heavenly ambience. 

"It's so beautiful … I wonder what's under there still." People could spot the ruins from miles away, which was no big surprise seeing as it was very huge. "Syaoran will be happy for sure. I know! I'll bring him a packed lunch at lunchtime … and we can eat together. And tomorrow …" I blushed. " I'll say it. That I love Syaoran."

I gazed at the ruins, thinking of tomorrow. Syaoran would be there as always, working hard. He would surely be happy to see me again. What is he doing now? Maybe he is thinking of me now, like I'm thinking of him.

_Ring._

A strange sound like distant echoing bells interrupted my thoughts. It rang again, probably coming from the direction of the ruins. "Eh? What's that sound? It's such a pretty clear sound," I whispered. 

_Ring._

"A bell? It sounds like someone's striking a bell … can I hear it coming from the ruins?" I murmured, as the sound rang over and over again.

_Ring._

Slowly, my body started to float, totally out of control. "It's just like … it's calling me?" I whispered, in some kind of half-trance. An odd fatigue passed through my mind.

_Ring …_

Instantly images entered my mind. An unusual palace with foreign features … and another one with strange wing-like arches curving over it; a symbol of some kind; an empty glass cell; another symbol on a black robe; and … Syaoran beating on the glass, shouting something I couldn't hear. There was desperation on his face as he hit the glass barrier with all his strength, attempting to break it.

Suddenly I was on the floor again. I felt as though I had suddenly started breathing again. "What was it?" I went limp with shock. I scrambled to stand up.

I clutched my chest, trying to lessen the uneasiness I felt. I looked at the ruins, hoping it would give me some hint. The wing-shaped structure had an eerie ethereal atmosphere to it, sending a shiver down my spine. I shuddered as the chilly wind blew in my face, the bitter coldness seeping through my dress.

* * *  
  


When I woke up, the chamber was dark. I got up and changed out of my nightdress. I adjusted the curtains to let in light. I peered at the ruins, recalling what had happened last night. The strange reverie. Maybe it was just a dream. I could scarcely remember what I had seen.

* * *

The yellow sun shone brightly in the clear blue sky, warming the desert. Not many children played about, and the shopkeepers remained under their cool shades. It was too warm to do any actual hard work. Most of the villagers were taking a break in their hemispherical homes. 

It was curious why Touya had agreed to let me follow him and Yukito to the ruins today. He decided before I could explain anything. I though he would refuse because I went out without permission yesterday. Even Yukito was a little hesitant. 

When we arrived, many workers were working going in and out of the ruins but Syaoran was nowhere to be seen.

My heart started to beat loudly. I entered the ruins tentatively, careful not to cause an avalanche of rocks. As I went deeper, to the lowest pasage, cobwebby torches glimmered ahead, emitting a flickering insubstantial light over the coarse walls and uneven floor. The passage had an atmosphere of silence. I no longer met any other workers and the stillness was like being underwater.

I spotted Syaoran a few minutes later. "Syaoran!" The floor here was surprisingly smooth.

He turned around and I waved. "Wha … What are you doing her?" Syaoran asked as we held hands.

"I came to bring you lunch! People outside told me you were inside," I explained, showing him the basket of food.

"It's dangerous here. The ground is unstable and sometimes the rocks fall," Syaoran said. "That's why the King's worried." He glanced at the wires on the floor, and some other instruments. 

I supposed he was the only one who dared to enter the deepest chamber of the ruins at lengthy periods. "It's ok!" I assured him. "My brother is here too. He's supervising the excavation." I handed him the food basket. "Here."

Behind Syaoran, on the floor was a strange symbol. It appeared familiar. 

_Ring._

"It looks like there's a pathway under here but it seems to be a dead end," explained Syaoran. "The rock is really hard and no machines have been able to dig through it so far." His voice grew distant. I wasn't paying attention to any of his words.

The eerie bell had begun again but this time it was louder.

_Ring._

I remembered the vision … 

I had seen it before. I had seen it the night before, when I was staring in the ruins and hearing the strange ringing. _Ring. _It was in my vision. 

The symbol of wings. _Ring. _It echoed through the underground chamber. _Ring. _My body started to feel cold but I wasn't shivering. 

I knelt down, touching the smooth stone. _Ring. _It was a beautiful and bizarre symbol. A symbol of wings, a sign of concealed power.

_Ring …_

"This symbol … I've seen it before."

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Should I give a Kudan to Sakura? So it won't be so dull when she sleeps. Please review.


	3. Warmth

**Eternal Wish by Himitsu**

**Chapter 3**

**Warmth**

CLAMP owns Tsubasa. XD Thanks for reviewing! Thank you so much, Oni the Great for giving me the translation. I couldn't give Sakura a Kudan coz I don't have any ideas for what will Sakura use her Kudan for, in this sleepy state. She just woke up so she's still sleepy.  Here are the replies to reviews.

**Sunel:** Yatta! You reviewed again! XD **SyaoranFan:** It took lots of time. I don't think you guys would prefer waiting for the Kudan than getting the next chapter. **Sararin: **You are an over-enthusiastic Syaoran fan.

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Everything was dark. My eyes were closed; my eyelids felt heavy and I didn't have the strength to open them. The bitter coldness receded away as an abrupt pleasant sensation spread to my fingertips. I could feel an unfamiliar soothing feeling, like being caressed by strange intense warmth. But it didn't continue. It didn't last. It left. And I was by myself.

* * *

I know nothing of what was going on. I don't understand anything … I can hear muffled voices talking. Perhaps they were talking about me. I heard a soft rustle, a different comforting feeling brushed against my face. I wanted them to tell me what was going on; why I feel so blank … A few moments later … perhaps minutes, perhaps hours … I felt the cold … again. Why must the warmth disappear? There was nobody but the piercing, biting darkness to accompany me. It was like being locked in a vast unbounded cold room.

* * *

Warmth spread to my whole body. I felt like I was glowing for a few seconds. I opened my eyes for the first time since being plunged into the sea of darkness. The sudden light was blindingly vivid. 

My eyes met a boy I hade never seen before. He was clasping my hand gently. "Anata … dare?" 

He let go of my hand. I felt the soft texture of the mattress. He was sliding in and out of focus. The floor swayed like the deck of ship. Willing it to disappear, I closed my eyes tightly and opened them again. The fatigue had lessened considerably. I sat up unsteadily. The boy wore clothes that looked like they had been burnt and smeared with ashes. I noticed his brown hair and skin were somewhat scorched by fire. He took a moment to answer. Finally he spoke. "I'm Syaoran. You're Sakura-hime. Please listen to me calmly. You are a princess from a different world."

"Different world?" 

"You lost your memories and because of that we have come to the different worlds to find it," Syaoran continued.

"By myself?"

"No, we came with friends," he answered politely.

"Are you also with me?"

"Yes."

"Yet we never met before?"

"Yes."

"Sakura-hime, we're meeting for the first time," said a pale-haired man, beaming. "My name is Fye D. Flowright. This is –"

"Kurogane," said a tall man with black spiky hair.

Fye's voice raised in ecstasy. "And this _kawaii_ little fluffy thing is –"

"Mokona Modoki Sowelu!" Mokona was a strange fluffy animal, with long ears and feet but tiny eyes. "You can just call me Mokona."

Mokona sat in my lap. I stroked his furry ears, wondering, "Who held my hands when I was asleep? My hands … they feel so warm."

* * *

There was warm calm wind outside. The sky was turning to a light, dusky violet littered with tiny silver stars. I rested on the pane, gazing up at the heavens. It was still early but I was quite sleepy. The door behind me opened. It was Syaoran.

"So … how are you?" Syaoran said standing beside me. "Are you still sleepy?"

"I'm fine, just a little," I said. His question reminded me of his burns. His scorches were healing. I wanted ask him how did he obtain those injuries but instead I said, "How about you? Are you all right?" 

"Yes. I'm fine."

We looked at the stars for a while. "There were more stars in Clow, ne?" I said. "I can still remember the stars. I'd always have a look at the sky at night before going to sleep …" The stars were part of the memories I had.

"Yes," Syaoran agreed. He seemed to want to say something, but hesitated. "There are a lot of stars in the desert …"

"I don't remember much of anything else though," I said thoughtfully. Syaoran didn't react.

The star-strewn atmosphere was beautiful. The misty streetlamps at either end of the alley flickered dimly. I looked intently at Syaoran. The silvery light was casting a silvery glow on his face. The silvery rays illuminated the serene night. Maybe he was concealing more fatal burns under his long sleeves. I vaguely remembered his arms were scorched. Syaoran swiftly got up and left. "Oyasumi nasai."

"Oyasumi … Syaoran-kun," I whispered.

* * *

After a few days we had to go.

"Wear this," Syaoran said, handing me an aged bottle green cloak. 

"Arigatou," I thanked him. I put it on over my white dress. The cloak was a little large but it was warm. Mokona sat on my shoulder, beaming at everything in sight.

"Are you all right?" Fye asked me.

"Yes, I'm just a little sleepy," I answered. "But I will be fine." I clutched the cloak a little tighter.

We stood in the middle of the clearing in front the hotel. Mokona hung in the air, opening his mouth and spreading his magnificent wings. A circle with crescents and writing materialised on the ground. It was like being caught in the middle of a sandstorm. There was strong sucking wind coming out of Mokona's mouth.

"Really, arigatou for everything," said Syaoran.

"What? Don't worry about it!" said Sorata.

"Good luck in finding Sakura's feather in the next world," said Arashi.

Finally we were pulled into Mokona's mouth. It was weird. It felt like melting. There was a swirl of colour and I was on my own in darkness, flying towards one direction. A hole materialised into sight; a doorway to another world. I could see many people crowding in a place. I felt a force jerking me in. When my feet touched the ground, I heard thuds of the others. There was dust everywhere and I could just about see anything.

The dust cleared and I realised we had emerged in a marketplace full of people. There were screams and shouts of the villagers, creating an uncontrolled commotion. I glanced up to the leaden sky; there was a hole in the clouds where we had fallen through.

"Eh? Where are we now?" said Kurogane, getting up gingerly.

"Well, let's get up and look around for a bit," Fye said. 

Mokona's wing melted and disappeared. He spun about in the air gleefully. "It's through Mokona's window of attention!" he proclaimed pompously, thoroughly irritating Kurogane.

"Meaning you've dropped us in another weird place right?" muttered Kurogane.

"Who the hell are you?!" bellowed somebody behind us. I whirled around and saw a burly man. Perched on top of his head was a ludicrous wig shaped like a lopsided fowl. "Where did you come from?!" His brawny hand grabbed my wrist hard, squeezing it painfully. My wrist was tiny compared to his oversized ones and he was most likely able to break it without effort too.

A second later Syaoran's foot landed straight in the man's face. The man let go of my wrist at once and his ludicrous big wig fell of his head revealing six strands of hair sticking out of his head at unequal distances. He toppled to the sand with a vast impact that shook the ground. Syaoran landed neatly before the man. Kurogane, Mokona and Fye were clearly satisfied by it judging by their expressions. 

"You! Did you realise who you had just kicked!?" shouted a person on the roof.

Every face in the marketplace looked up. A young girl was glaring at the big man, her dress billowing in the light breeze. 

"Whom are you messing with now? You idiot son!" she continued boldly.

The big man snarled. "Chunyan! Just who is _idiot son_, eh?"

"What, are there any other idiots around?" the girl said, looking around scornfully.

"You little …" 

"How disrespectful!" shrieked one of the man's men. "This is the son of the Ryanban, ruler of Koryo!"

"Ryanban or not … Ever since last year, we're running through our Shinpan," said the girl.

"Is your father stupid? Does he understand what he's doing, opposing the Ryanban?" the Ryanban's son barked. "Well, Chunyan?"

Her face contorted with wrath.

"We'll pay you back!" he bawled angrily showing his clenched fist. He and his men began to leave. One of his lapdogs kicked the stock of one of the stalls and the woman screamed.

"Are you hurt?" Syaoran asked me.

"I'm fine. Arigatou," I thanked Syaoran. He smiled in return.

"Wow! What a showy entrance!" said Fye beaming at Syaoran.

"Syaoran's incredible! Kicking him like that!" Mokona remarked, doing an imitation of Syaoran kicking the Ryanban's son.

"Hmmph, they're like ants," muttered Kurogane complacently.

"Oh!" Syaoran noticed a heap of produce on the ground. "I'm sorry, your stock …" He started piling them back into the crate. The stall keeper waved to say it was no problem.

The rest started to help to, even Mokona. I started going lightheaded, not focusing on what they were saying. I kneeled on the sand and picked up some strange spiky fruit and potatoes. I paused to stare at Syaoran who was showing the same thorny fruit to a squealing Mokona. He seemed to be the most different compared to Fye and Kurogane.

"The faster the Shinpan come to this town, the better," said a drawn woman, sighing sadly as she rearranged her stock.

The girl who had been quarrelling with the Ryanban's son looked at us. I rubbed my eyes trying to rub off the sleepiness.

"You look _weird_!" she exclaimed with superfluous emphasis on _weird_.

"Ahaha, weird! She says Kurorin looks weird," Fye teased Kurogane unmercifully.

"If I'm weird, you're weird too!" Kurogane snarled.

"Hey!" she said. "Is it you?" Her eyes went wide. "Come on!" She grabbed my hand and dragged me with her. I ran along, rubbing my eyes.

"Matte!" I heard Syaoran call.

The girl brought us to a building with a flimsy made of wood roof that looked like she made herself. It was a house with a small dead garden without vegetation, surrounded by white walls. 

The girl stared from me to Syaoran as thought she was expecting something. I stayed silent, unsure of what to say. Mokona was still on Syaoran's head, sitting in his messy hair quite with satisfaction.

"Ah … this place …" began Syaoran awkwardly.

"This is my house."

"Why did you hurry? …" Syaoran asked.

"Don't you people have something to say?" she asked exasperatedly.

"Eh … uh?" Syaoran murmured. 

"Don't you?"

"No, all we did was just come to this country and met you."

"You really have nothing to say?" Chunyan scuttled closer.

"Do your best Syaoran!" Mokona cheered.

"No … nothing … but …" Syaoran mumbled uneasily.

I started to get tired again. The only sounds were from the steady flick-flick of Kurogane's magazine and his low growls of displeasure at the content. Fye trod around the house and observed his own light-haired reflection in the mirror looking bored.

"When I think about it, there's no reason you'd be the Amenosa," she sighed forlornly.

"_Amenosa_?" I muttered enquiringly. 

"The Amenosa is a spy, separate from the government. Each respective Ryanban rules over a separate region but he doesn't indulge in their personal interests or greed," explained Chunyan. "He doesn't force people using political pressure either … His duty is to inspect and so he travels around to different countries."

"IT'S KOUMON MITO!" Mokona interrupted loudly. I hung my head questioningly. "Yuuko liked the founder Koumon most!" Mokona explained dynamically, sitting in Syaoran's palms.

I closed my eyes groggily and fell asleep for a few seconds.  My eyes snapped open again and I wiped them crossly. The sleep didn't seem to go away, instead it seemed to get worse each time I rubbed my eyes.

"I see … so you thought we were these Amenosa," said Fye. "Chunyan-chan, is it? I'm Fye and this is Syaoran-kun. And this is Sakura-chan." He pointed to everyone in turn. "And he's Kuropuu," he quipped, gesturing at Kurogane who was still reading his magazine.

"It's Kurogane!" Kurogane bellowed angrily.

"So, you want the Amenosa to come because the ruler of this place is no good, right?" Fye continued.

"He's the worst!" Chunyan said irately. "My mother … he …"

There was a sinister howl outside, and the roof began to rattle. The fragile wooden walls shook.

"Is that the wind?" Fye said, getting up.

"Don't go outside!" Chunyan shouted.

The window burst open, letting a gust of powerful wind. The window cracked, and some of the roof tiles fell off. A patch of the sky was visible. I held on tightly to Syaoran. Chunyan's house became the centre of a tempest. The blustery wind wasn't natural. Somebody sent it.

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Welcome to the end of the chapter! ^O^ Wow! This chapter is very long! (^_^) (^_^) (^_^) Kirby dance!


	4. God's Beloved Daughter

**Eternal Wish by Himitsu**

**Chapter 4**

**God's Beloved Daughter**

Thank you for reading and reviewing. CLAMP owns Tsubasa. What an ever so devastating thought. Less reviews than I hoped but never mind, TRC is still new …

**Sararin: **Yeah right. True. **It-chan: **Even though it's a flame, it's a review! :p

-- Himitsu

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Syaoran, Chunyan and me went to look for my feather around Koryo. It was pleasant and warm, vaguely reminding of Clow. Chunyan was telling me about the castle "before the stupid father and son took over" when someone called her.

"Hey Chunyan! You've got a new girl!"

"Travellers. They come from a foreign land," Chunyan explained.

"Oh, travellers! Then join us," said another man.

"What's this?" Syaoran looked at a bowl in which there were two cubes with dots on them.

"Negi. Don't you know?"

"I saw something like it before. That's a die," Syaoran said.

"It's simple!" said the man. "Just roll these and the highest total wins." He dropped the strange cubes into my hand. "Here, here, try some fortune."

"Oh come on," said Chunyan, a little sarcastic. "Who's got the highest for now?"

"It's me. 11," said the man confidently.

"That's not fair for an amateur!" Chunyan interjected. "To win, she has to get six and six."

I threw the cubes into the bowl. It made a clattering sound. Twelve dots?

The crowd shouted in shock.

"Yay! Sakura wins!" Mokona cheered.

I picked up the dies. There were different numbers of dots on each surface.

"Well, that's kinda luck," said the man shakily. "Roll the dice again."

I did as I was told. Twelve dots. The crowd erupted with noise. Twelve dots. The crowd erupted with noise. Twelve dots. The crowd erupted with noise. Twelve dots. The crowd were utterly shocked. I suppose the way you play it was by throwing the dies and see who gets highest.

"_Stop getting doubles of six_!" whimpered the man in desperation.

I rubbed my eyes drowsily. All this dice throwing makes me sleepy.

* * *

Chunyan brought us to a place where we could sit down and see the red sky, lit up by the glorious radiance of the sun. It was an old stone bridge where wind blew gently and the atmosphere was calm.

"Sakura's victorious!" said Chunyan happily, eating a steamed bun. "We got a lot!"

From the dice throwing game, I won full sets of Koryo clothes for Syaoran and me and three baskets of food. My clothes were pink and Syaoran's was green.

"That's amazing! You only get six and six," said Chunyan animatedly. "You are the Beloved Daughter of God!"

"What … are you saying?" I murmured.

"It's a person with lots of fortune. My omoni taught me," said Chunyan proudly. "God loves her and gives her a lot of fortune. Were you like this before?" 

"I don't know."

"Why?"

"I only remember my name … and a town in the desert," Sakura said. I remembered the lovely dry hot weather in the day, the cool chilly winds at night. The stalls in the marketplace, selling apples. There were barely any plantation or streams for a few miles. The castle where I lived, and my bedroom with their high white ceilings and lovely view of the dunes.  "It's mostly sand dunes, but they love the few waters and nature there are."

"I'm sorry I asked something bad," apologised Chunyan.

"We are on a journey to find my recollections," I said. I had lost nearly all my memories. "I don't remember them but he told me. Yes, from Syaoran–kun."

"Hai, Sakura-hime," Syaoran answered, smiling.

"Stop it, please!" screamed a woman, somewhere up the hill.

"This store did not pay any taxes to the Ryanban!" It was the Ryanban's son again.

"Haraboji needs medicine for his illness," reasoned the woman anxiously. "Please wait!" 

"No way!" bellowed the Ryanban's son. "You have to pay all the taxes!"

"I cannot pay taxes 20 times more than the last Ryanban!" she cried.

"Then I'll hit him more! 100 times," he roared, and raised his great whip. The woman shielded her grandfather, crying because she felt useless.

"No! No way!" shouted Chunyan.

I covered the two of them before the whip fell. I prepared for the blow … Surprisingly, it didn't come. I glanced up and gasped. Syaoran was standing on one of the Ryanban's son's fists, and the other foot was on his face. He was holding the whip using both of his hands.

"You! From yesterday!" The Ryanban managed to shout even with a foot on his face.

"Daijoubu desu ka, Sakura?" Chunyan asked me.

"Daijoubu." I wiped my eyes, feeling dizzy again.

"Get out of my way!"

"I won't," Syaoran said coolly and tightened his grip on the whip.

"Then I'll teach you a lesson of what'll happen when you mess with the Ryanban!" 

"You are his son, stupid one!" growled Chunyan fiercely.

The Ryanban's son glared at her. "Shut up!" He threw Syaoran off unceremoniously and brought out a big fan with a crescent moon on it. "GO!" he commanded and, a warrior clad in shiny armour appeared carrying a giant sword. 

"That fan …" gasped Chunyan.

The warrior was roughly three metres tall. Underneath the warrior's helmet was a pair of eyes emerging from shadows. The warrior went for Syaoran with its blade.

"It came out of the fan?" I asked Chunyan, just in case I was dreaming.

"That belonged to my omoni! My omoni was Shinpan! She made medicines and spells," Chunyan said, starting to shed tears. "But she never used them for evil! She said it was the pride of a mage … But those idiots … they came here as travelling mages a year ago and suddenly got stronger. They pushed the Ryanban to get his place. Omoni faught to stop them … but she was killed!" 

Syaoran balanced himself on the warrior's wide sword. In a few moves, he kicked its head off. The head dissolved into gooey liquid. For a few seconds it seemed like the commotion was over. Then the warrior's head grew from the glutinous mass, moulding into an armoured head again. Its body split and multiplied. He was surrounded.

"Watch out!" Chunyan yelled.

All the warriors were going to strike at the same time. Syaoran narrowly missed the pointed blades. He leapt up and kicked the nearest warrior and it melted into liquid. One by one, he struck the warriors and they fell to the ground futilely. The Ryanban's son groaned at the sight of his defeated warriors, overwhelmed by one.  The last warrior went up behind Syaoran but he struck it deftly and it liquefied into mass that discoloured the ground. He landed smoothly on his feet and that irritated the Ryanban's son even more.

"You did it!" said Chunyan excitedly.

"You're getting carried away!" said the Ryanban's son.

"This sound … THE WIND IS APPROACHING!" Chunyan yelled.

The wind thrashed uncontrollably around Syaoran and for a few seconds he was suspended in mid-air. Then the wind ceased and he fell from the air. "SYAORAN-KUN!" I screamed. I ran to where he was. His head was bleeding. The Ryanban's son seemed pleased with it though.

"Take that! This is the Ryanban's secret magic!" said the Ryanban's son jubilantly.

"How can the father help out when it's the son's fight!?" Chunyan shrieked angrily at the injustice. "You guys really are the lowest family out here!"

"Shut up! If it bothers you so much, why don't you beat Aboji yourself, Chunyan!" he retorted. He added in a self-aggrandising way, "Well, it's not like you could even touch him!"

"When the Amenosa show up, all of your evil deeds will be judged!"

"They're not coming!" He turned towards the woman. "And since you didn't pay, your taxes will be doubled!"

"Sonna!" gasped the woman.

"If you can't pay up, I'll take your stall! You and the old man will both get three hundred lashes!" The Ryanban's son marched off with his troops. "HAAHAHAHAHA!"

"KUSO!" Chunyan shrieked in agony.

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Go, go Syaoran! Fight! Should I change the world after Jade Koku? Or change stuff in Jade too, make Sakura suffer. Oops, shouldn't be saying such evil things to the public. O_o


	5. Accelerate

**Eternal Wish by Himitsu**

**Chapter 5**

**Accelerate**

Thank you for reading. CLAMP owns Tsubasa. But I am better than them because … To …

**aloofmonkey: **I don't know what to say other than thank you! I think I will change the stuff in Jade Country. _Hohoho._ **Sunel: **Happy happy joy joy! You reviewed again. I'm gonna make sure Sakura'll suffer. Muahahahaha! Something depressing, like your fanfic, but more depressing … :D *very evil smile*

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We returned back to Chunyan's house. Syaoran looked very miserable as he carried the provisions I won.

"Okaeri! How did it go?" greeted Fye. "I managed to keep up a conversation with Kurotan the whole time, so I doubt you got very far?" He noticed Syaoran's wound. "Something happened … right?"

Chunyan handed me a clean moist cloth to clean Syaoran's cut and started on explaining the incident to Fye and Kurogane.

"I see … So you were beaten by the Ryanban's wind again …" said Fye after Chunyan explained what had happened.

"But how come you didn't fight the Ryanban?" Kurogane asked.

" We've tried! So many times … again and again!" Chunyan sighed. "But we can't even lay a finger on him. The castle where the Ryanban lives is protected by secret magic. Nobody can get near it!"

"I see … And that's the strange power that Mokona's been feeling …" said Fye conversationally.

"There're lots of strange powers," said Mokona. "I can't tell which one is the aura from the feather."

"You have to be very careful," I told Syaoran as I cleaned his cut.

He nodded. "It's ok."

Fye thought for a while. "Well how about the son? Can't we do something like take him hostage?" Fye suggested blithely.

"Eh!?" Syaoran looked up.

"You just said something very terrible, you know," said Kurogane.

"The Ryanban's watching over the whole town of Ryonfi with his secret magic! If we do something to his son –" said Chunyan. "Like yesterday and today with Syaoran-kun, we'll get attacked by his secret magic …" 

"You said that a year ago, the Ryanban just got strong all of a sudden. I wonder if it might have something to do with Sakura-chan's feather," Fye said.

"That wouldn't really make sense," said Kurogane pointedly. "The wings with her memories flew away just a little while ago."

"I'll go check it out. I'll see if the Ryanban has the feather," said Syaoran, getting up.

"Matte! You're hurt … Syaoran," I said, tugging his arm.

"Daijoubu desu," Syaoran said. "If there's a feather, I'll bring it back.

"Syaoran-kun …"

"Chotto matte!" said Fye. "Don't worry, I'm not going to stop you. Demo ne … that secret magic the Ryanban seems really powerful. It's impossible if you're going to just go. You've at least got to break through the magic barrier at the castle's entrance."

"Can't you do anything about it?" said Kurogane.

"Impossible," said Fye, without a care in the world.

"Then quit talking like you've got a plan!" bellowed Kurogane.

"I'll ask Yuuko!" said Mokona imposingly. Mokona hovered a few feet and the red jewel on his head sparkled. The gem emitted bright rays of light and a circle formed. The picture in the circle flickered and a beautiful woman with long black hair came into view. She must be Yuuko.

"Mokona's really convenient, huh?" said Fye, pointing at the projected image of the woman. "This is a connection to a different world!"

"There's a limit to convenience, too!" Kurogane bawled, pointing at Yuuko too.

I stares at the woman. She was from another world? I heard Chunyan gasp next to me. Oh right, she had never journeyed through Mokona's mouth.

"I see," Yuuko said. "So you want to break the secret magic and enter the castle." Her voice echoed eerily, as two voices would.

"Sou nan desu!" said Fye.

"Demo … you don't have to ask me … Fye can use magic, right?" said Yuuko.

"I gave you the origin of my magic …"

"The tattoo that I took as payment is just the origin of magic meant to stop other magic. It's not your actual magic power."

"Well, yeah, demo … I've decided not to use magic without it."

"Ii wa," agreed Yuuko. "I'll send you something to break the castle's secret magic. But you've got to pay the fee."

"If there's anything I can give you …" Fye looked around the house for something and picked up his wooden staff. "How about this? It's a magic tool, but I don't really use it."

"Ii deshou. Give it to Mokona."

"Ikuyo!" said Fye, pushing the staff into Mokona's expanded mouth.

Mokona swallowed the staff but it didn't come out the other end. Chunyan seemed to find it very frightening. "Mekyo!" Mokona murmured in satisfaction.

"Are you sure this is ok?" said Syaoran to Fye cautiously.

"Of course it's ok," said Fye very self-assuredly.

With a loud 'ha!' Mokona ejected a shiny round object. Syaoran caught it neatly. An orb of solid magical powers. The hazy coloured mists in the ball swirled. It gave off a diffused luminosity, concealing magic. "This is the thing that will break the secret magic."

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Review, oh review! I got my domain name! It's ultra vibrant, be sure you are not colour-blind or you'll miss the fun. !


	6. To Ashes

**Eternal Wish by Himitsu**

**Chapter 6**

**To Ashes**

Disclaimer: CLAMP owns Tsubasa. They should auction Syaoran though. Replies!

**sakura-san19:** Thanks for the praise! ^o^ So here's my chapter. **Victoria-Hughes:** Thanks for the tips. :) I know this fic has to be more expressive; I was going into details after this feather. But I'm happy with your review because you actually took time to write something very useful! ^^

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Chunyan rummaged through her old things in boxes, chests, and just about every corner of the room. I watched her search around the house, searching for something.

"What are you looking for?" I asked Chunyan.

"It's a hand mirror," said Chunyan shortly, her voice a little shaky. She was somewhere between sorrow and rage when Syaoran refused to bring her along. "We have to go help them."

"Go?" I asked blankly. "To the castle?"

"Hai," Chunyan said patiently. "We have to help them. The three of them is not enough to fight the Ryanban's men and his powerful sorceress. Something terrible could happen to them if we just did nothing whatsoever. Magic can only be fought with magic."

There was a big explosion that shook the ground to some extent. There were a few shouts of panic of some villagers. I peered at the window and a mass of black glutinous liquid stretched over the Ryanban's castle like a gigantic spider's web. The magic barrier was broken.

Chunyan looked up. "They must have broken it!" She picked up a round mirror from a closet after digging through a pile of colourful clothes. She shoved them back in hastily. "Let's go."

After a few minutes later we arrived in front of the castle. A huge mob was surrounding the area, circling the castle.

There were muffled shouts and explosions inside the castle, there was a fight going on. The walls of the castle shook, and tiny cracks appeared. "Hayaku." Chunyan nodded and we went in through a gap in the wall. A voice in the crowd warned that it was dangerous, but she merely dismissed it with a wave of her hand.

We walked to a set of double doors and found another set of double doors … and another … The castle was bigger than it looked from the outside; the corridors were long and seemed to go on for miles. Occasionally there was the vibration from the floor probably coming from some people fighting. The floor was slippery and the walls felt strange. It was odd we hadn't met Fye, Kurogane or Syaoran yet. When we reached another pair of doors, there was chaos going in the room. We pushed the door open. Several men looked in our direction. I spotted Syaoran near the Ryanban in the middle of the room circled by many spellbound villagers.

"Minna! Wake up!" Chunyan shouted, and held the mirror high. There were shining beams of light from the magical mirror, bursting from all directions. The men attacking Syaoran stopped mid-strike. They had no memory of being controlled by the Ryanban.

"This is one of mother's special items," said Chunyan. "It can dispel any magic."

"Chunyan! Sakura!" cried Mokona bouncing over the head of a surprised man.

"I can't use any magic, but … as long as I have this mirror, I can reflect your magic!" Chunyan added.

"Kuso!" The Ryanban cowered on the floor shaking, positively shrinking away because he was losing. Syaoran took another threatening stride, obviously interested what would the Ryanban's reaction be. The Ryanban backed off, whimpering. Unable to move his feet, he moved using his hands.

Fye and Kurogane appeared behind the doors, looking very battered. Their clothes were worn to shreds, especially Kurogane. "There's so many people in here?" said Fye, grinning contentedly.

"You're late!" admonished Mokona, leaping up and attacking Kurogane with his head.

"Urusai!" snarled Kurogane.

"We were busy too. Sorry," said Fye.

"Give me back the feather," said Syaoran who had remained silent since we came.

"Ma – matte!" stammered the Ryanban.

"You have Sakura-hime's feather, so I want you to return it now," Syaoran directed, his hand outstretched. The Ryanban looked like he had regretted all his brutal deeds.

"Syaoran-kun …" He had gone through a lot only for my feather. I noticed his battered and torn clothes, and he was limping very slightly, the contortion of a pain faintly overtaking his features. Blood flowed from underneath his hair. Evidently he had been hit many times. I felt accountable to let him suffer all the injuries while I wasn't involved.

"As long as I have the feather, I can bring Chyunyan's mother back," said the Ryanban frantically, as the pieces of glass covering the feather fell down to the floor. "But if you harm me then that will never happen. This feather contains the most powerful magic, it can -"

"You kill my mother, the person who is tried to protect the people of this town from you. And my mother told me, no matter what you do, magic cannot bring a life back! No matter how much I miss my mother, she can never be brought back to life!" Chunyan screamed aggressively, her tears streaming down her cheeks, dripping on the floor. I tightened my grip on her. "How can you lie to me and say that you can bring her back to life?" She wanted to run towards the Ryanban but I pulled her back.

"Chunyan … do you want revenge on him?" asked Syaoran. "If that would make you feel better. But is he even worth it?"

"No! I don't even want to touch him!" said Chunyan. Her crying ceased to little sobs and her face was turning to its original colour.

Syaoran advanced towards the Ryanban who was uselessly trying to crawl away. "N … no!" shrieked the Ryanban. He backed away. "Don't … don't come near me!"

"Everything ends here," drawled a female voice behind him. A woman emerged, her long-nailed hand tenderly stroking against the Ryanban's face.  "How can you seal me in this place?" said the sorceress, in mock distress. Her long nails caressed the his face gently. The Ryanban shook as her nails, brushed against his face. "Just leave him to me. I want to finish serving him," Debonair continued.

"N … no!" he stuttered, eyes widening in fear.

"I guess it's ok, leave him to her," said Fye simply, smiling contentedly.

A big mass of thick gelatinous liquid formed, shaping itself into a sphere. A portal.

"YAMERU!" the Ryanban howled.

"Don't worry," Debonair said sardonically. "I want you and your son to have the best service in my world." She smiled as her enchantment worked.

"NOOO!" he shouted, shedding tears as the dark orb sucked him into the void. But it was too late to ask for forgiveness. He had done too much to receive any mercy. I couldn't feel any kindness for him either. The Ryanban and his son had ruined the lives of so many people, solely because they had the authority to. Chunyan was trembling as I held her. 

"You must be Chunyan," said Debonair. She ignored the Ryanban's distressed pleas of help.

"Sou da," she whispered.

"Your mother was a great Shinpan. Even though she past away because of him," said Debonair sympathetically. "In the duel with me she told me that she hopes you can be the best Shinpan as you can be." Chunyan stifled her tears. "Become stronger, strong enough to fight me."

"Yes … I will!" Chunyan said determinedly, clenching her fists, one still holding the enchanted mirror.

"Then goodbye. And come, my cute little insect," said Debonair to the Ryanban. She disappeared into the portal as the Ryanban gave a piercing screech. The gooey substance she created evaporated into thin air, leaving dirty murky blotches on the floor. What remained of the glass orb fractured, leaving the feather no longer concealed. The glass shards fell off, piece by piece. The rays of light from the feather were more brilliant than ever. The feather floated on Syaoran's hand and he held it out to me. It drifted towards me of its own accord. I felt a pleasant sensation as it entered my body.

It was my birthday, the first of April …

"Otanjoubi omedeto gozaimasu, Sakura-hime," said Yukito, smiling.

"Arigatou gozaimasu, Yukito-san!" I answered cheerfully. 

"I'll bet she can eat this whole table of food," Touya taunted, laughing. I glared at him, clenching my fist. 

"I can't eat this much!" I retorted angrily. It was my birthday. Yet he was still pulling my leg like he would always do every other day.

"It would be an easy task for you," Touya said in a singsong voice.

"Nii-sama is not telling the truth, I truly can't eat all that food!" I said, with a pleading look at Yukito.

"Ouji!" cautioned Yukito. "Well let's eat the food, they're great."

I couldn't describe how happy I felt; everyone was here to celebrate my birthday party. There was a beautiful iced pink birthday cake. There were lots of silver balls and sugar flowers on the cake. It looked too pretty to be eaten. The town chef had carefully chosen my favourite colour. Eventually we ate it.

After that we didn't quarrel anymore. The only noise was from the clattering of cutlery on the white porcelain plates. I finished my cake blissfully. It tasted great, just like Yukito said.

"The town chef said he baked the cake particularly for you," said Yukito.

"And he also said happy birthday," said Touya, grinning.

"Honto!? The chef in the town can really cook, the cake tastes delicious!" I remarked happily. It was the best birthday party ever.

"Ano ne," I began, blushing furiously. "Arigatou for coming today." I turned to the person sitting on my left. "I can celebrate my birthday with –" There was a short pause, barely lasting a second. "I'm really, really happy."

I had been talking to a chair. There was _nobody _sitting in the chair. Yet I still felt happy. I couldn't feel any happier. "Doushite?" I had been so thrilled. There must be someone there. Someone who was very important to me; someone I had wished could be more than just my best friend. Demo … doushite? Why are they gaps in my memories? Doushite? My feathers, my memories, they were part of my soul.

_"I can celebrate my birthday with — I'm really, really happy."_

"Dare mo … inai no ni …?" 

I slipped into overwhelming blackness clinging at the edge of my mind, slipping away into the emptiness where there was nothing to hold on to.

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Reviews please? :p I'm not pleased with this. More misery? :b


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